I had two major goals for 2023: to PR my half marathon and to refrain from running any full marathons…I failed on both accounts.
The Humboldt Bay Half Marathon was my chance for the PR, but my body had a different plan. Four days before the race, whilst placing a 4oz bottle of hot sauce into the fridge, the bulging discs in my back slipped out of place in such a terrible way that I could swear that I heard it. My back tends to ‘go-out’ once or twice a year; it causes me to have severe back spasms. I typically take muscle relaxers for a few days until the spasms stop and then rehab my back for a month or so. BUT, I’m dumb and stubborn, so I was determined to continue with the run as planned on the following Sunday. I was actually feeling pretty ok the day before the race until i bent over to get a shirt out of my laundry basket; my discs did their slipping dance again. I was in extreme pain and almost unable to walk. I told my friends and boyfriend that I was probably not going to run (but deep down, I was about 90% sure that I would run if I could even take one step). So, the next morning, I got up hours before the race, ate a big bowl of oatmeal, got my running gear on and off I went to the race. I was limping and leaning sideways, but I went ahead and limped my sorry-ass up to the start line and went for it. I managed to run the entire race and finished in a pretty normal time for me. I was proud about completing the race, but also foolish that I felt the need to participate when I was in such bad shape. I took the next couple weeks off running and then was on to the next idiotic goal…
My lovely friend and burlesque sister, Stevie d’Lux, made her own ambitious goal for 2023: she wanted to run the CIM (California International Marathon), making this her first full marathon. This marathon is known for being ‘fast’ because it has a downhill trend. It is a very large race; larger than any other race in which I have participated. I jumped at the chance to run this race with her. I justified it in my mind that a full marathon in 2023 would be alright since this one was practically in 2024 (the race was in December, after all). My training went amazing. I felt so good; my feet, knees, hips, back, everything felt great.
My longest training run was 20 miles that I was able to run with Stevie on a trip up from San Francisco where she currently lives. We had a sweet little morning with perfect weather and cute animals and birds; we even encountered a loose cow on the road with some good samaritans trying to help her get home. As I was running by: “Is this your cow?” Shit, I laughed for a mile.
The race weekend arrived and everything felt wrong. The hotel was not what we expected; we were in a shady first-story room in a seedy neighborhood. The room was so hot! Much warmer than outside; and the A/C didn’t work, nor did we want to open the back door as there was evidence of some shady activity in the parking lot beyond. David and I went out to the hotel bar where I ordered a beer and he ordered a shot and a beer. The cost: $36! WTF!? And everything was hot…the bar, the beer, the chairs. The night was rough. I got about 20 minutes of sleep and had picked a fight with David because, quote, “I can feel your finger moving!” He ended up sleeping on the floor because I was a wreck. The shuttle to the race was packed, stinky and took an hour. I sat next to a girl on the bus who told me about her last marathon in which she hit a wall at mile 10. I remember thinking, “Fuck that! I can’t imagine hitting a wall with 16 miles to go!”
The start line was crawling with people yet there was not a single trash can in sight. Garbage was piling up in the street next to the line of 150 port-o-potties. The race started almost 30 minutes late. Once the horn blew and we were released onto the road like a herd of cattle, I quickly noticed the rolling hills. This race wasn’t flat, it was hilly as fuck and over-crowded to boot. Still, I was doing my best to enjoy my run. I knew I would be seeing my dad along the route at about mile 10 and was so excited to see his proud face. Once I saw my Pops and gave a quick hug, I turned a corner and hit the proverbial wall. I swear, that chick on the bus got the 10-mile wall in my brain, and now I was suffering her same fate. I was struggling immensely the rest of the race; all 16.2 miles that remained. My nutrition was all wrong and I got terrible cramps from my hips to my toes. My stomach was in knots and my mouth was dry as the Sahara. My dad had posted up again at mile 20 to cheer me on; he told me he hardly recognized me; I had become an entirely different person since 10 miles ago. After 4 long hours and 25 minutes, I finally completed the 26.2 miles, but finishing was a fleeting relief. My body was screaming for some water and a bathroom. They herded us into a corral area where I had to walk another half mile to get my race medal and some other swag. No sooner did I plop down on the ground to catch a break did my guts take a violent turn. I struggled to stand and pushed through the crowd to find an open port-o-potty where I managed to get my pants off in the nick of time. As I opened the toilet door, I came face-to-face with my Dad and David; not the ideal ‘hello’. Next on my to-do list was finding some water only to discover that they were out; beer was the next-best thing. I got my free beer, but spectators weren’t allowed to partake, so I sat on the ground, sipping my beer while David helped ease my debilitating leg cramps while my dad laughed and took photos, bless his heart!
We left pretty quickly since I needed water and rest. I didn’t even have the strength to wait and watch for Stevie to get to the finish. I was too exhausted. Somehow in all the pain, I managed to get a personal best…don’t ask me how; I was absent of thought for the majority of the morning.
The next day, David and I drove home. I was absolutely depressed about the entire experience. I didn’t get a runner’s high and I felt zero sense of accomplishment; I was in such a zombie-state-of-mind that I didn’t even hear my playlist blasting in my ears! I went home and wallowed in my sorrows until the new year.
In an interesting turn of events, I had procured a free entry into my favorite marathon to date! I entered an Instagram giveaway with the Oakland Marathon thinking there was zero chance I would win. I found out the week before CIM that I had won…Just like that, my next big goal was already upon me.